Don't let it be said I spend all of my free time playing video games, just most of it.
I love television. I was raised on TV. It's because of good TV that I can recognize good writing when I see it. Television has always been one of those things that make me happy almost instantly. At least, when the show is halfway decent.
When the show is actually GOOD, I immediately turn into a writing snob, telling you not only WHY it's good, but why you are a philistine for not accepting it even if you already do.
I'm a jackass.
These are the ten shows that turn me into a jackass the fastest. All that being said, I will try to explain why I like the show and leave the demeaning to my game reviews. I'll also tell you my favorite episode of each show, and why it is my favorite episode.
So with all that out of the way, let's get these shows on the road!
(Shut up, he thinks he's witty.)
10: GOLDEN GIRLS
FAVORITE EPISODE: MRS. GEORGE DEVERAUX
Yeah, the first two items on this list are going to make me seem like a middle aged Miami woman.
To be fair, I can't find anyone who DOESN'T like this show. For those of you who don't know, The Golden Girls was a sitcom that ran in the mid 1980's about four older women who live in a house in Miami: Blanche, a southern belle with a libido that would make a Kennedy blush; Rose, a woman who would easily float away without the weight of her shoes; Dorothy, a (ugh, I hate it when I have to use this term) "no-nonsense" schoolteacher who is the token sensible one; and Sofia, Dorothy's insane mother (I can relate).
This show is made by its cast. Betty White (Rose) is one of my favorite comediennes on the planet, same with Bea Arthur (Dorothy). Rue McClanahan (Blanche) is just a damn good actress, and it still astounds me that this is Estelle Getty's (Sofia) first acting job.
It also depresses me that the only other thing I can find her in is Stop or My Mom Will Shoot.
The favorite episode I have listed is called "Mrs. George Devereaux." This is one of those "The sitcom is going for an Emmy" episodes, and I ALWAYS love those.
Blanche is infamous in the show for her incessant sex drive, but it is made clear that she has only been in love ONCE, with her husband George.
George has been long dead, but in THIS episode he returns, claiming he faked his death because his company was trying to screw him over.
It's a dream, you know that going in. Actually a recurring dream of Blanche's. What gets me about it is that it's far from idealized. Blanche starts out FURIOUS at George for taking so long to contact her. George has to spend a lot of time excusing his own behavior.
It's a really moving experience. It helps to deepen what could have been a very shallow character.
This show has one of my favorite casts, some of my favorite comedy, and probably one of my favorite half hours ever televised. So, it's only natural that it's one of my favorite shows.
9: MURDER, SHE WROTE
FAVORITE EPISODE: THE MURDER OF SHERLOCK HOLMES
So yeah, don't move to Maine.
Not only is it infested with evil nether beings that use a town as a web in order to feed on children's fear, it also has the small town with the highest murder rate in the country.
I am, of course, speaking of Cabot Cove, home to mystery author J. B. Fletcher. J. B. Fletcher wrote a mystery novel in her spare time and her nephew has it published. She becomes a best-seller overnight and is whisked around the world where she always runs into a murder, and always solves it.
I love this show for two reasons.
1) I love Angela Lansbury.
2) I get a kick out of the premise.
As a writer, I always like it when a writer is made to be the star in a story of their chosen genre. It makes me smile.
My favorite episode is actually the pilot. I like seeing J. B. rise to fame.
And.... That's essentially it. It's just a good time with a great actress.
But we've been too down to earth. Let's become downright stereotypical.
8: STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE
FAVORITE EPISODE: WALTZ
There we go.
I'm not going to give you the backstory on Star Trek. There's no point is there? Just Google it if your education is really that lacking.
I AM going to say that I have seen most of the Star Trek franchise. All of the shows (except for Enterprise, thank God), and all but three of the movies (1, 5, and 7). I landed on THIS as my favorite series after heavy debate.
This show gives me what I want out of Star Trek, namely Quark's Bar.
I like seeing how the world works outside of StarFleet. I like getting a glimpse of alien cultures and interactions. This show delivers that better than any other show in the franchise.
This show also boasts my favorite captain (Sisko), my favorite side character (Quark), my favorite starship (Defiant), and one of my favorite 42 minutes of television ever produced, and certainly my favorite Star Trek episode.
The episode is called Waltz. It features Captain Sisko and the main villain of the series, Cardassian Legate Gul Dukat, marooned on a desert planet with only each other for company. Unbeknownst to Sisko, Dukat has completely lost his mind (due to events earlier in the series). Dukat spends the episode talking to side characters that aren't there, essentially giving face to his delusion.
The episode ends with Dukat leaving the planet alone. Locked in with his own madness.
This episode is so damn amazing it alone could skyrocket this show at least two places higher..... if it weren't for the last fifteen minutes.
Literally, the last fifteen minutes of the show are enough to make me so angry I could kill woodland critters for being too cheerful. I don't want to spoil, but it is the DUMBEST POSSIBLE ending to the DUMBEST POSSIBLE plot thread, and it is executed in the DUMBEST POSSIBLE way.
I really don't want to spoil, so I'll simply say when the Dominion War is done, so should you be.
7: HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
FAVORITE EPISODE: THE TIME TRAVELERS
I like shows that give me hope, this is the king of them.
The show focuses on Ted, who, in the year 2030, is telling his two kids the story of how he met their mother. Key characters in the story are; Marshall and Lily, Ted's best friends from college (their marriage causes Ted to think about settling down); Barney, a horndog who's activity makes Blanche look like a nun; Robin, an old girlfriend of Ted's; and, of course, The Mother, constantly nameless, never seen until the end of the penultimate season, billed as Ted's perfect woman.
And... yeah, when you meet her she really doesn't disappoint. That's what I love about this show. You know from off that everything is going to be incandescently happy at the end. So all of the uncomfortable moments that would exist in other sitcoms can just be funny, because everything is going to be all right.
My favorite episode is called "The Time Travelers." Barney is trying to talk Ted into going to an event (Robots VS. Wrestlers, a running gag within the series) saying that it will be a night he will remember for thirty years. Ted imagines himself from the future walking into the bar and encouraging him to go. It's a good metaphor for thinking about the future and how our choices effect it. I'm not going to spoil the ending here. Watch the show if you're curious.
As a pathetic romantic myself, I sympathize with Ted. The show is a great banner for hope in the face of hopelessness.
6: THE WEST WING
FAVORITE EPISODE: CELESTIAL NAVIGATION
Yay! I'm going to talk about politics!
WAIT! DON'T LEAVE!
I'm going to talk about FICTIONAL politics, specifically the administration of President Josiah Bartlett.
The show focuses on the internal drama within the White House. My three favorite characters are very similar to me and my family. I'm like Josh, obsessed with winning, and good at it, oftentimes smug, but with good reason (I AM awesome), and highly neurotic.
My brother is like Toby, bearded, a great writer, often self righteous, tends to answer most questions with snark, and DEFINITELY with more sense than Josh.
Mom is Jed Bartlett, highly educated, intellectual, will answer questions in Latin because she can, and is the one that Josh and Toby would fall on their swords to protect.
My favorite episode is called "Celestial Navigation." Josh is talking to a college class about "a typical day in the White House." What follows is probably one of the most hilariously accurate depictions of a political clusterf$&k I have ever seen. This includes a Supreme Court candidate being arrested, a cabinet secretary calling a congressman a racist, and why I should NEVER speak to the press.
This is just a great political drama. It's all on Netflix if you want to check it out.
Oh, and if there is a moral to this list it's "Get a Netflix Account."
5: BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES
FAVORITE EPISODE: ALMOST GOT 'IM
My top five are cartoons. Go figure.
This is probably one of the most highly rated cartoons in the WORLD and with good reason.
Prolific cartoon creators Bruce Timm and Paul Dini decided to take their talents to Batman. They did a HELL of a job, not only making Batman even more awesome than he already was, but also kicking off the iconic DC Animated Universe.
This show IS Batman to most kids of the 90's, including myself. Kevin Conroy has got the perfect voice for the Dark Knight.
Also, I swear to God, Mark Hamill is my favorite Joker.
I just made my Anonymous Editor's head spin.
On paper it sounds awful, but he's having a BLAST, as is apparent in my favorite episode. Almost Got 'Im.
Joker, Penguin, Two Face, Poison Ivy, and Killer Croc are playing a game of poker, swapping their stories to see who came closest to killing the World's Greatest Detective.
And that's all you're getting out if me. Watch the show to find out what happens.
Well animated, well acted, and just plain awesome on all fronts. This show has earned its place in cartoon history.
4: PARANOIA AGENT
FAVORITE EPISODE: ETC
Ooh, anime. Well, we knew this was coming.
First a question: what does "fear" mean to you?
When you think of something you're afraid of, what pops into your head?
My brother jumps to spiders.
My Mom doesn't like clowns.
I picture a ten-year-old kid with a bent baseball bat, and golden roller blades.
That is the face of Lil' Slugger, the monster of the horror anime Paranoia Agent.
Lil' Slugger is a HORRIFYING presence, and it helps that he attacks you if you have a problem I have.
Lil' Slugger won't KILL you. Not usually. He shows up when you are desperately looking for a way out of your responsibilities.
Hey, you don't have to worry about that deadline if a spectral tween has broken your kneecaps with an aluminum bat. Right?
He's a living excuse, and he quickly becomes a legend around Japan. Rumors start flying around, as seen in my favorite episode, ETC.
Four gossipy housewives are swapping rumors about Lil' Slugger. One is constantly disbelieved, due to the fact that she is the wife of a famous screenwriter.
Embarrassed, she comes home to find her husband beaten and bloodied on the floor. The episode ends with the wife begging her husband for details of the attack.
I use this as proof that anime can be truly amazing. Next to "The Thing" this is probably my favorite horror story on the planet.
Check it out if you have a burning animosity toward sleep.
3: YOUNG JUSTICE
FAVORITE EPISODE: AULD AQUAINTENCE.
I love superheroes. I really do.
After the beating they receive on a monthly basis from comic books nowadays, it's good to see shows made by fans.
This show was made by MASSIVE Teen Titans fans.
The show takes place in the DCU, and focuses around a team of young superheroes, (they never refer to themselves as Young Justice, just "The Team") which is used as kind of a covert arm of the Justice League.
Members include Aqualad (Khal'dur Ahm), Robin (Dick Grayson), Kid Flash (Wally West), Superboy (Connor Kent), and Miss Martian (M'Gann M'Orzz). A sixth member joins the team, an original character for the show, a sidekick to Green Arrow known as Artemis.
The show documents their struggle against a group of villains known as The Light, led by longtime DCU villain Vandal Savage. The Light believe that superheroes have stunted human evolution and seek to rectify that by eliminating them.
Some comic fans out there can guess one member of The Light's roster already.
My favorite episode is the Season 1 finale. Throughout the season, the show introduced several plotlines that could be DEATH to a superhero story. Superboy's on steroids. Artemis is lying about her background. It's a complete mess.
Then they do the most intelligent thing I've ever seen a superhero team do.
They TALK about it!
Yeah! Everyone with a secret just comes out with it all at once. No one feels betrayed, no one shuns anyone else. They've become a family at this point and they will help each other through this.
My jaw hit the floor when I saw this. I was convinced that the show was going to suck out loud at that point. But after the biggest upset victory since Goliath, it paved the way for the second spectacular season.
Which is arguably even better than the first. It's obvious it's building up to something big. The last shot is Vandal Savage shaking hands with Darkside, the final boss of the DC Universe.
Aaaaaand then the show was CANCELLED by DC editorial.
Yeah.
They did it to pave the way for a new show, "Teen Titans, Go!" And if you want my opinion on THAT atrocity, go ahead and YouTube Teen Titans, Go!.....
I'll wait.
..........................
Nose stopped bleeding? Right then! On with the countdown.
2: SPECTACULAR SPIDERMAN
FAVORITE EPISODE: INTERVENTION
Have I mentioned that I love superheroes? I do! I love superheroes!
By far my favorite happens to be Spiderman. Why? Simple. He was a geek.
That always resonated with me. The fact that he could use his talents for himself and didn't even after being kicked in the mud so many times gave me hope that there are basically good people out there.
He's been adapted to film and animation many times, but THIS is the best representation of the character.
And before anyone mentions the original movie series to me....
I hate the Sam Raimi trilogy with a FIERY passion, and if I have to hear one more idiot spout off about how Spiderman 2 is one of the best superhero movies ever made, comparing it to the likes of The Dark Knight, and The Avengers, I WILL SEASON YOUR HEAD WITH BACON BITS AND DUNK IT IN A BUCKET OF PIRANHA FISH!!!!!!!
*pant, pant* Where am I again?
Oh, right, the show with... with the.... with the thing.
My favorite episode is called Intermission. It deals with the symbiote suit and the birth of Venom (much better than RAIMI ever could), and is one of the best adaptations of a comic I have ever seen.
That, plus my favorite theme song that has ever appeared on television, are only a few of the reasons to give this show a watch.
(PS: The reboot movie is actually pretty damn good! I'm really excited for the sequel this May!)
(PPS: I hate Sam Raimi, Evil Dead or no.)
Well, it's come down to this. My number 1. The only show I make sure to catch when it comes on. The only show with a fan label I adopt.
1: MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC
FAVORITE EPISODE: A CANTERLOT WEDDING.
I am not a Trekkie.
I am not an Otaku.
I am not a Whovian
I am a Brony.
This show is watchable, which is a surprise in and of itself considering the franchise. For it to be good, let alone GREAT, is a downright freaking miracle.
The story of how this miracle occurred starts with a woman named Lauren Faust.
Lauren Faust is a protege of Gendy Tartarkovsky. For those of you who don't know who that is, Tartarkovsky is a cartoon creator who was responsible for my entire childhood. He made Dexter's Laboratory, Powerpuff Girls, and Samurai Jack, all excellent cartoons in their own right.
Faust learned everything she knew from her mentor, and soon developed a style of her own. She scored a hit with the cartoon series Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.
She had a new idea for a television series that would give strong female role models to girls, this was Galaxy Girls, she hoped to have Hasbro push a line of toys for her to get the series going.
Hasbro said "sure," but they put a condition on it. She had to produce the new My Little Pony show.
She looked at it as an opportunity. She loved the franchise growing up and she realized that THIS was the chance she needed to create strong female role models.
So she wrote a pilot episode that was essentially her nine year old fanfic, in the hands of a now thirty year old professional writer.
And. It. Was. AWESOME.
This show is concrete proof that any premise, no matter how girly, can be saved by enough talent behind the camera. This show's magic is in taking "little girl" premises and injecting 50 CCs of METAL into them.
For Example:
1) The town of Ponyville is awaiting the arrival of the Princess!
It is interrupted when the princess's sister (essentially Satan in this universe) kidnaps her and plunges the world into eternal darkness
Halfway through the episode a unicorn kicks a manticore in the face.
2: Pinkie Pie thinks that her friends didn't invite her to a party.
She goes insane, to the point where she starts talking to a bucket of turnips.
And the bucket of turnips talks back.
3: There are cotton candy clouds and chocolate milk raining from the sky!
It's being caused by an elder god of chaos who plunges the world into endless madness and despair.
The elder god is voiced by John DeLancie. Q from Star Trek.
And of course, my favorite.
4) The ponies attend a royal wedding.
A shape shifting bug-horse hybrid is masquerading as the bride. The princess of the kingdom has been put into this gooey cocoon thing and suspended from the ceiling, while the shape-shifter's army of insect-ponies terrorizes the kingdom.
A battle scene ensues (yes, MLP has battle scenes now) and it is one of the most epic things I have ever seen. There is an image at the end of it (you'll know it when you see it) that I want superimposed on my wall.
I know the writers! That's how much of a fanboy I am. I look at who's writing this week and by that I can tell whether I'm going to like or love the episode.
There is rarely hate. It's not UNHEARD of, but it's rare.
I cannot recommend this show enough. Keep in mind it is a little girly, it is a show about magic horsies after all, but you can actually FEEL the talent behind the camera, and in front of it.
Well, that was a nice break. Got to catch up on my shows, got to mix it up, and I calmed down from XCOM. I'm ready to do what I got into this for again.
So what's up next?
NEXT POST: CONTRA 4
Contra?
Contra?!
CONTRA?!?!?!
MUST. PUNISH. KITTENS. FOR. BRINGING. HAPPINESS. TO. HUMANITY.
ANTI-LIFE JUSTIFIES MY RAGE!
AIIIIIIIEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHGHGHAAAAAGGH!!!!!!!!!
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