Hello all! Sorry for the delays, but I'm back and ready to review yet again!
Back in my Heroes of Mana review I said that my enjoyment of games may be hindered by my SKILL. If I'm reviewing a third person shooter you can be sure I'm getting the gameplay critiques from someone else. That is because giving me a TPS is like giving a monkey a fishing rod. He won't know what to do with it, and trying to figure it out frustrates him.
So I took the opportunity to play Skyrim and I'm happy to report after five days of gameplay I am BARELY PASSABLE at a First Person Sandbox.
The Elder Scrolls series has been mostly beneath my radar. I remember two other instances with it. Someone I knew got their hands on Oblivion (the previous installment), and people complaining about flying creatures known as "Cliff Racers".
The game starts out with you being arrested. (I am told that this is a running theme throughout Elder Scrolls). Since you were caught along with the assassin of the high king you are immediately sentenced to death.
As you are being laid on the chopping block a massive dragon attacks the city. You escape to find adventure elsewhere.
After that there are SEVERAL plots, and getting into them would require me to write a four THOUSAND page volume.
Instead, let's move on to the "Need To Knows". These are.....
THE MASTER CONTROL CYNICS TIPS TO SAVORING AND SURVIVING SKYRIM:
Tip 1: Be prepared for anything.
Skyrim is fond of throwing odd things at you when you are traveling down the road. Beggars asking for coin, thieves trying to take it, merchants, and of course dragons.
A GENIUS move by the designers, fire breathing dragons can, at any time swoop from the sky without warning.
You can tell this has happened when you hear a massive roar, the music turns intense, and you are on fire.
No other game does that! In Super Mario Bros. You never see bowser swoop from the sky and TOAST your ass! It's completely awesome.
Also, know that you will piss somebody off. It's inevitable. I currently have a price on my head that the local assassins keep trying to collect. I have no idea who called the hit on me. I found the contract on a dead assassin.
TIP 2: DO NOT CHALLENGE A DRAGON WITHOUT ARROWS.
This is for two good reasons.
1) Dragons can fly.
2) Trying to kill them with melee
weapons Is like trying to bring
down the Great wall of china
with a plank of balsa wood.
Arrows carry no weight, so you can carry THOUSANDS at a time. Do so with gusto, otherwise you will look like a ninny wailing at AIR with your battle-ax running away from jets of flame.
3. EVERYTHING IS A QUEST.
I. Mean. EVERYTHING. Nothing you hear about from passing villagers will never come up again. Every villager has a story, a family, and a problem. You play every one from the Destined Hero, to a Jehovah's Witness. (That's a real one, seriously. You hand out little pamphlets.)
Definitely a full recommendation. It's worth the price of your game system. Now I have to get started on the DW: Gundam review before a drag--
FWOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!
