Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance.

Uhhhhh...,,

It's kind of... No....

Ok. My very first published Review was Kingdom Hearts: 365/2 Days. IN that review I said it would take a five BILLION word document to talk about all the necessary backstory you'd need to get what's going on. Otherwise it's like in the series premier of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine where Captain Sisko attempts to explain linear time to creatures with no concept of it (Keyblade, what is this?).

That review came off as negative and I claimed it was mostly because of shoddy gameplay issues, and while they were certainly present my main issue with that game was in its story. It focused on a character I don't particularly like, and REALLY don't give an airborne crap about.

However I also claimed I was a fan of of the series and I defiantly am, and that is MOSTLY because of the overall plot. It's an incredibly well written fantasy story that, and I know how batshit this sounds, seamlessly blends Disney Classic movies with the Final Fantasy franchise.

So when I tell fellow Kingdom Hearts Fans that this game is VERY VERY important to the story and to pick it up, they will understand, but any other of my readers will.

Without wishing to spoil at the end of the game Leonard Nimoy comes in with a trowel and a bag of cement and fills in all of the series' plotholes.

If you are new to the series however, I would recommend playing the other games first. Not that you won't know the story. This game gives you more reading material than the most vindictive Private School. I have never played a game I've had to study in order to understand what the hell is going on.

So that's my long winded delve into this portion of the story, how about we move onto the actual GAME part. Specifically two game mechanics that do an interpretive dance of War & Peace all over my very last nerve.

The game focuses on two protagonists Likable, well developed, well written, joyful Sora, who of course all the fanbase hates, and depressive, annoying, formulaic Riku, who everyone in the fanbase wants to have sex with.

This is a symptom of a disease that a lot of JRPG fans have. Mistaking interminable whining with characterization.

Riku is one of the most unlikable characters in gaming, and that wouldn't bother me so much if his fans weren't EVERYWHERE. They hate Sora because they believe if he enjoys life he isn't "Deep" enough.

Riku did get better this game however so naturally he is now hated by his fans.

You people sicken me.

Both story lines take place at the same time which brings me to the first incredibly irritating mechanic. The Drop Meter.

The Drop Meter really yanks you out of the game. No, seriously, it yanks you out of one characters campaign and puts you in the other. You can easily go BACK, but all the enemies that you were fighting regain full health so this mechanic is probably responsible for 3DS being in impaled through household pets.

Speaking of the enemies there are two things that bother me about them:

1: You can theoretically find random knickknacks to combine together to make copies of your enemies to fight along side you, but the materials to make any of the decent monsters may as well be the dead sea scrolls for how easy they are to find.

2: They all look like escapees from Barney the Dinosaur's S&M dungeon.

Is it worth your money? Well if you're a fan yes, if not you should play the previous games first. They are some of the best games out there.

If you are a Riku fan, feel welcome to jump into a cannon filled with carnivorous lobsters to fire you into the HEART OF THE SUN.