Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story

THE QUEST FOR A JRPG! PART 3:

The quest had left me despondent. I had been roaming through the desert of "Almost JRPGs" and my goal, the shining brilliant mountain of Final Fantasy IV, laid a two days walk away.

In my travel across the wasteland I only had Sonic Chronicles to use for sustenance which, while not actively poisonous, did not satisfy.

I was also mauled by a Six-tailed giant scorpion known to the locals as "Heroes of Mana." Said to have the ability to drive a man to madness, the beast left me near death and with little hope of reaching the mountain.

And then a miracle!

I came across a tiny oasis in the desert! Filled with a pool of decent gameplay! Fruits of a good story! It wasn't the mountain! But it would sustain me until I reached my goal!

.............

I wonder if it's a crime to kill a metaphor.

Mario is no stranger to the turn based RPG. Starting with Super Mario RPG for the SNES, continuing through the Paper Mario series and culminating here in Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story.

I hinted in my last review that I have never seen the Mario Brothers to deliver a bad game, and this one is certainly no exception. It's not QUITE what I was looking for, but it would do for now.

The game starts with a tiny Toad (the mushroom people who populate the mushroom kingdom) returning home to his family. His mother instructs him to go get his father down to dinner.

He bursts down the stairs in sudden shock. His father has contracted......

THE BLORBS!!!

............

That's a funny name for a horrible disease....

Yes the Blorbs! A disease unique to Toads, it makes the patient grow to a giant sphere shape and roll away.

Princess Peach Toadstool holds a council to find a solution to the epidemic.

It's a problem in the Mushroom Kingdom! CALL IN THE MARIO BROTHERS!

Mario and Luigi go to see what they can do about the problem, unfortunately they are closely followed by Bowser. The evil king of the Koopa, a race of turtles who wish to destroy the Toads and take over the Mushroom Kingdo--- Okay I know how goofy this sounds just bear with me (ROOOWRR)
SHUT UP BOSKOV!

Long story short. Bowser gets beat. Winds up in the forest. Meets a salesman who gives him a magic mushroom that allows him to suck Mario and Luigi down into his body.

The salesman is actually Fawful. He's.... Imagine if a snow pea became a mad scientist. He spread the Blorbs to take over the Mushroom Kingdom. He also tricked Bowser into eating the "Vacuum Shroom" in order to get the Brothers AND the Koopa King out of the way.

Believe it or not, this gets even MORE complicated, but for the rest you'll just have to play the game.

Gameplay is turn based combat, with a couple of twists. Each character is assigned a button (Luigi B, Mario A, Bowser X,Y). A lot of the damage you do depends on timing. The best part is that if you're playing the game 100% perfectly you will NEVER take a hit.

Every time an enemy launches an attack you are given the opportunity to dodge or deflect. This happens with EVERY ENEMY ATTACK. However it's harder than it sounds. Like everything else in this game, it requires precise timing.

I'm being to nice. I need to nitpick something...

The goddamn minigames are a nice fat target!

Every once in a while Bowser will need to do something in the outside world that requires some form of muscle stimulus. Mario and Luigi (being inside his body) must perform said stimulus. This usually requires hitting colored orbs at the muscle. This is a fiery pain in the ass. It requires the timing of Big Ben, and the patience of JOB. It gets REALLY grating REALLY fast.

It's definitely not a deal breaker. Pick this game up if you want a very fun (if a little strange) adventure.

But I had to put it aside.

I heard a thud at the door. I ran to see what had happened.

I saw a package from Amazon.com. I had reached the summit.