Dynasty Warriors: GUNDAM

Let's face it. War has become boring.

Okay, certainly not to the SOLDIERS, but as a spectator sport.

Two groups of people standing on two sides of a desert firing guns at eachother, oh sure, there is the odd EXPLOSION, but we've lost the majesty of the reckless charge, the clash of armies, and the noble duel between commanders.

And the future seems to hold no cure for this, with the invention of the predator drone we may get to the point where there ARE no soldiers. All combat will be fought by remote. So we lose the romantic image of to armies racing towards eachother across the battlefield forever.....

That is until the invention of GIANT LIGHTSABER WIELDING ROBOTS!!

Yes today we are looking at the GUNDAM franchise! A line of Japanese anime series based on the very simple premise "Giant Robots Are Awesome, and War Is Hell."

It has joined with the Dynasty Warriors Franchise! A series of video games with ANOTHER simple premise "Wading Into the Enemy Army Killing Fifty Enemies At Once With One Swipe Of Your Sword Is Awesome, And War Is Hell."

I've been a fan of the GUNDAM franchise for some time now. My favorite series was "Mobile Fighter G GUNDAM." A vision of the future that has all nations of the world abandoning conventional armies and means of war in favor of selecting a representative to pilot a giant robot and entering them in a duel that is decided when one has ripped the others HEAD OFF.

That rather crass introduction may explain why I hesitate to call this a war game. I really don't know WHAT to call it. It's like every man's war fantasy. You are a hero who is absolutely VITAL to the mission at hand. The regular enemies you hack down like a slightly aggressive hedge.

No the only real threat are other unstoppable badasses on the field. With a clash of swords and an exchange of one liners an epic battle of warriors begins.

"Epic" has become like "Racist", in that the word has been used so often the true meaning usually escapes the user. So I do not the use this word lightly. This is one of the most epic games I have ever played.

I cannot describe the fist pumping awesomeness of plowing through 500 enemy goons, conquering territory after territory coming across another general, the fight taking out MORE goons just because your kickass has a blast radius, and then failing the mission because the spaceship you were supposed to be defending has drifted into enemy terrain like an unusually stupid spacefaring cow, and has been destroyed for the umpteen jillionth time.

As fun as the game is, it is NOT without it's flaws. Such as the allied AI which was apparently modeled after the Elves from the Magical Land of Stupid.

Heero is moving in to attack the enemy death beam! Shock and Awe! He's dead! Mission Failed!

There is also the fact that combat is a bit of a clusterf*ck. This is not helped by the fact that the battlefield is the relative size of Kansas and you have limited sprint. So when you find out that you have an objective on the opposite side of the map it would feel wrong to make the trek without the assistance of a covered wagon and some diseased children.

All in all, a recommendation. A perfect stress ball after a long day. Pick it up if amazon doesn't lose it in Kentucky! (Long story.)

Well I'm back in the game, off hiatus, and ready to entertain once more!

The Internet is burning red! It's whine tells me to grasp victory!!!