Pokémon Retrospective Part 2: Pokémon SoulSilver Version

Pray for me, dear readers. I want a job at Rite Aid.

You see this blog doesn't pay anything and money isn't as much scarce as it is near nonexistent. So I've applied for a job at my local Rite Aid, and perhaps if I leap through a ring of FIRE they'll finally freaking hire me.

I've filled out a written application, I've spoken to the manager, I've filled out an ONLINE application, I've made my way through the labyrinth, and narfled the Garfok. I think I've finally convinced them I won't nick KitKats when they're not looking.

But you didn't come to hear about that! You came to hear about one of my favorite video games of all time!

.... Well the remake, same difference.

On Christmas Eve, 1999 my brother and I were wide awake with the door to our room open.

Our Mom and grandparents were downstairs wrapping presents, and Papou, God rest his saintly soul, was loud. The thunder of god had nothing on that man sneezing.

We had our mental Christmas list in our heads and we listened to my Grandfather loudly read it off in full.

"LEGEND OF ZELDA?!"

Majora's Mask. Matt was 1 for 1 so far.

"SOMETHING SMASH BROTHERS?! CRAP WHERE'RE MY GLASSES?!"

Super Smash Brothers, bullseye, I was now one for one.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH THE NEW GAME BOYS?!"

The Game Boy Colors, we were each two for two.

And than he said it.

"UHH... POKE-MON? I DUNNO ONE OF'EM HAS A BIG CHICKEN ON IT AND ONE OF'EM HAS SOME KIND A DRAGON, ORANIA HAVE YOU SEEN MY READING GLASSES?"

Pokémon Gold and Pokémon Silver, three for three, victory was ours.

That vacation was all about Pokémon, I spent it playing Silver, watching the show, and MARATHONING Pokémon: The First Movie. God my mom got tired of it!

Some of you who know nothing about this series might be confused at the mention of "Versions" last time. Allow me to explain.

Each Pokémon game comes in two versions (E.G. Red and Blue). These versions will be the same game, but with slight differences. For example some Pokémon are only available in one version and not the other. Also, a few years later they release a THIRD version (E.G. Yellow), with slight tweaks on the story and sequence of events.

So this is technically the two SECOND Pokémon games, not the fourth and fifth.

Also it should be made clear that this is a remake. Every so often they take old generations, give them a fresh coat of paint, and release them again.

I am reviewing the remake today.

One more thing I should cover before getting into the review proper: regions.

Each.... Call it "Generation"..... of Pokémon games takes place in a new Region of one interconnected country. The FIRST games (Red/Blue) took place in the Kanto region, this one takes place in the Johto Region.

Speaking of which, meet Ethan! (Lyra if you're a girl)

Ethan is a kid from New Bark Town. He heard the news three years ago that a kid from a small town had defeated Team Rocket and rose to become the Champion.

History tends to repeat itself.

Over and over again, you see these games tended to have the same plot until generation five shook up the formula. The reason I like THESE games more than any other so far boils down to one word. Legacy.

The other games feel cut off from the games before and after. Continuity is made more as a passing mention to other characters about other regions, Oak will make an appearance now and again, but nothing SOLID.

In THIS game however the previous games had a DIRECT EFFECT on the story of this one. Particularly our old buddies Team Rocket!

After the final confrontation with Giovanni, the Rockets disbanded and Giovanni went into hiding. His one final gambit was the Silver Initiative.

Okay, it's not called that in-game, I just call it that because I'm a nerd.

The Silver Initiative instructed his top executives to continue activities in the Johto Region, and when they managed to regain their former strength to contact him by hijacking a radio station in Goldenrod City and broadcasting Team Rocket's triumphant return.

While Giovanni himself is Sir Not Appearing In This Game, his role is filled very nicely by Archer, his former number 2. Unlike his predecessor Archer stays mostly in the shadows, you only meet him near the end of the game. You get the feeling that he's not as badass as Giovanni YET, but he's getting there.

Also when I said "end of the game," that was a lie, it was more like three quarters in. All Pokémon games have significant PGC (Post Game Content), some Pokémon you can find only after you become Champion, oftentimes you can challenge the Elite Four AGAIN, this time powered up, etc.

This game tops ALL of that. After you become champion you get on a boat to the Kanto Region, Nine new cities, eight new badges, and the true Pokémon Master.

There is a humorous encounter with a Rocket Grunt who is unaware that the team has disbanded.

You meet up with Blue, who has become a Gym Leader, and a complete hardass.

You get some clues as to where Giovanni disappeared to.

Finally you meet the true final boss of the game. Pokémon Champion Red.

The first game was supposed to take place over the course of eight years (these games added a real-time day/night system that screwed THAT in the ear) and three years have taken place in between games.

He was ten at the start of the adventure. Those math savvy of you have already placed him at legal drinking age. Which perhaps explains why he is sitting on top of a glacier at the end of a long cave system in nothing but jeans and a sports jacket staring at the middle distance saying nothing.

As silly is this is, it's still pretty damn awesome. You've earned your bones in this world by this point. It's the clash of two TITANS on a mountaintop! It's hailing the whole time! Lightning is crackling in the sky! You're surrounded by bursts of flame! Vines are shooting up violently from the ground! It's the ultimate test of manhood! The kind of thing that you put on Metal in the background for! You're gripping onto the DS until your knuckles are WHITE! Finally when his last Pokémon falls you're SCREAMING at the screen! YEAH! YEAH! WHO'S THE MASTER NOW?! WHO'S THE MAN?! WHO'S THE MAN?! I CAN'T BE STOPPED!! I! CAN! NOT! BE! STOPPED!

*pant...pant* Hoo boy.... I gotta get out more.

I honestly thought that this was going to become the standard. Challenging the protagonist of a previous game is always awesome, and god help us I wanted to teach the Ruby/Sapphire protagonist to get a better haircut.

In all seriousness, the remake holds up to the original really well. These games and the way they work make occasional remakes almost necessary, otherwise completing the Pokédex is nigh impossible.

It was forty bucks when I got it, and that was two years ago! So let's go on Amazon and check out how much it has dro--SEVENTY FIVE BUCKS?!?!

So in conclusion I wouldn't purchase this game just yet. Unless you're reading this on your private island... Or you're insane.

We'll go back to regular reviews next week, but hopefully I can continue the retrospective in October. Why?

On October 13 of this year Generation Six, Pokémon X Version and Pokémon Y Version, will be hitting the shelves. This will be Pokémon's first leap into a 3D perspective. This will go one of two ways.

The "Ocarina of Time" route. I.E. This game changes the series, and perhaps gaming as a whole, forever.

Or the "Earthworm Jim 64" route. I.E. This game not only kills the series but the body is so disfigured it has to be identified with dental records.

So pray for Pokémon, and pray for me. I'd like to be employed soon.

NEXT TIME: JAMES POND: CODENAME ROBOCOD

...... Like I said, please pray for me.